Deserving

It hurts when you feel like you are losing a bond with someone you wanted forever. I can honestly say that this life has been the most eye open point for me. Infact, I have been stuck frequently. It led me in paths I never thought to be. Just me getting lessons to know that everyone is going to hurt, only you go hold up with people who deserves your pain and worth your patience. Someone worthy your scars, deserves yours otherwise letting go isn’t an option.

 

After all, I understood that energy is the currency. When you pay attention to something, you’re buying an experience. It is an investment to spend carefully. But, you have to pay attention every little detail you tolerate. The more you tolerate what/how people treats you, the more you are teaching them how to treat you and that defines your value to them. This is why it is not always good to just let things slide. You have to be selective in things that need your patience, reaction or tolerance. With the aim of being nice, ruling out being used isn’t an option but a must.

 

Contrary, working on understanding is something people don’t give enough credits. A single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous.  It makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent/enjoyed within a minute. Whereas communication is meant for a common understanding, some use it negatively. The case is that you communicate just to express things as you think, but not how it should be done for the best interpretation. After all, the purpose always makes sense than what was done. Since there is a great difference between listening to someone and understanding someone, we are obliged to work on our understanding for our better life. Moreover, they led to different results.

 

Surprisingly, time treats gender differently. This might be a hard note to feel since it is going to let everything out. In the way we all need to experience things equally, we won’t manage facing the results equally. So, as to cope with what we can’t control we need the energy to accept things as they are. For a man can change to a hero with time, a woman can’t have the same chance.

 

For example, a couple can date for more than 5 years doing whatever and enjoying everything and later break up. At the end of everything, a man lose nothing but a woman does. Here is the thing. The more a man commit and satisfy his ego in relationship, the more he becomes unstable. He desires for more and more thus gains less social respect in wise people and more respect with people like him.

 

Contrary to, the more a woman (female) dates, the more she loose social respect. The society doesn’t and will never give equal credits to the social respect earned by gender based decisions. Hereby, no man feel comfortable owning a woman who was everyman’s else lover. Thus, a man can decides to sacrifice everything for a woman with a clear past but a woman denies a man’s past and die for his vision and future. This isn’t phenomenon but socially believed as it is. And surprisingly, this builds a bigger chain that follows people in their whole life.

 

The most bitter part is that nothing can be done on this except preventing it by playing clearly one’s role. So, as life gets harder to whoever chooses the easier paths and vice versa, playing smart is the key.

Since what we follow builds patience than who we follow, let’s develop a mentality of winning on whatever matters.

……

 

Author: Didace Banamwana.

Email: banadidace@gmail.com

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