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Hello there!

This isn’t a day’s or week’s mood, not seasonal or intentional, as I have no control over it. Since the day it began, I have tried to figure out the reason why it hit so differently than anything else. We try to convince our hearts that we have so much more to work on than being together, more things to do than falling in love, but in the end it ends up us giving up on how we really feel.

 

There are been days that we’ve been smiling, joking like kids, but it seems like it sounds different at this time. Each new day we had to wake up with no plans other than talking and checking on each other. Funny are the days we used to joke and tell each other how crazy we are, how toxic we can be to each other. Those past days felt dark, white and simpler than trust issues because nobody thought we could end up like this.

 

We usually point out other people's fingers that could fit our craziness and moody lifestyles, but we choose to be there for each other. Surprisingly, you just confessed your feelings and said maybe it’s because we were so close and lived next door. After we drew the conclusion that it was the sunlight’s effect, here we are under the roof. I remember how I used to tell you how bad I am, how good I'm and the worst I can be. After the long texts and free shoulder and ear in the saddest moments, we both acted strongly independently until we experienced that everyone needed somebody to trust, fight with, hold on, listen, but in the end, feel safe with.

 

The saddest part is, we never looked at each other exactly if we did that. We always acted like friends, relatives but strangers in common till we decided to love each other differently. Those crazy nights where we used to go out and make fake promises. I used to be the first to speak more than 1000 words just to make sure you received the best offer, but it always faded. I still have never received a better promise than ‘’I’ll always be yours, either physical or not’’ and still no greater request than ‘’will you always welcome me please?’’ Later but not sooner, I fell for you. I did everything to hide it but you caught me.

 

We decided to give it a try. The next day, we stopped, tried again, but again we stopped. Although we didn’t suit each other, we understood each other. We both fear losing or losing each other. I only remember my worst days when you weren’t around. I felt better whenever I talked to you, smiled whenever you said, ‘’ I am here for you.’’ turned my worries into hope and hope in simple acts to do. What else? Although I always run, I know you are my comfort place. The day will come, we shall meet new people, but I don’t think we shall have another chance to meet each other, because if we had to choose, we could choose to meet again and again.

 

Since I understood that our bond matters more than the relationship, it keeps me blessed. Make me forget praying for good friends in your presence. I just kept this inbox for good,,,

(Fictionally written).

Yours,

Xxx xx.

Author: Didace BANAMWANA

E-mail: banadidace@gmail.com

Tel: +250780346480

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