Behind the pretty face

 

I’m not old enough to summarise a century’s events, but I am experienced enough to say that I faced one of the shocking moments whenever certain things happened. This took my mind far, across the oceans and overseas, but my body stayed locally. These are the moments I used to pause everything and ask myself, ‘’Why this?''

I used to believe that all the things we experience are the effects of the decisions we made in the past. I just believe that doing good brings good back, but no, this world is so tricky. People are good and happy, so their actions open future doors for them easily. In contrast, others do good and experience worse things they wish were nightmares.

Surprisingly, people just live their lives on their own, do whatever they have to, and wait for the end. In turn, you find their future bright despite the previous bad act, with no bad effects and zero regrets. This sounds different and too weird because everyone expects and needs a bright future, which is good, although the opposite may not affect the future.

Mostly, people get hurt more by their friends. Sadly, it is the moment your enemies do bad to you; painfully, it is the moment you get deceived; and deadly is the moment you get it done by the person you never expected.

Once I realised that most painful betrayals are friendship-based, I reflected on both male and female sides. Let’s call it another step for such cases between male and female relationships, as they always have untold stories or reasons behind everything; thus, skip it and talk about male to male and female to female friendship.

A male-to-male friendship is known to be of no romance, so whatever goes beside a good part never hides too much. Even though some contradict each other, a female-to-female relationship is a dramatic and confusing thing that even the Bible can’t explain well. So, my focus lies on this type of friendship.

Once upon a time, I talked to my best friend about this case. Thankfully, we shared great ideas that ended up being helpful. In a short period of time, we came to a better conclusion. I asked her what she thought was the biggest reason behind this failing relationship.

She openly replied, ‘’it’s really funny when you get to know how it is in reality and how it looks. A female can call her friend the sweetest names to ever exist, like Sweetheart, Twin, Moon Pie, Bestie, Lover, and Mine, and treat her better and better each day, but finally, it all ends up not being expected due to one or different reasons. Most people give you a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on because they don’t want to see you bad, but they also won’t support seeing you get better than them. It is because they are jealous of who you are, especially when they can’t afford that version.’’

After all, my mind came up with the idea of asking her what the solution could be.

So, she concluded, ‘’being selective is the key. We have to know who to share information with and the type of information to share. Be able to differentiate people, know their place, and know what they deserve.’’

Sincerely speaking, this world is full of good and bad people. And the hardest part is that nobody is good or bad until you get too close to them. Nowadays, people share whatever is happening to them with their close friends and/or on their social media in a direct or indirect way. That is where all jealousy begins. The more people go deep into your life, the more they find ways to hurt you or make you happy. As we can’t make it all alone, it is crucial that we be more selective in every case.

No matter the taste, things might change. We have to keep that in mind because a friend today might be an enemy tomorrow, and he or she will use what they know against you. Nothing is permanent or should be taken for granted. BE SELECTIVE.

To be continued:

Author: Didace BANAMWANA

E-mail: banadidace@gmail.com

Tel: +250780346480